Friday, August 26, 2011

Things that terrify, yet fascinate me: Part 2

Boston Dynamics Big Dog
 This robot, when combined with other scientific advances, will be the end of our kind.  You can't knock it over.  This video will teach you a new kind of fear.

Friday, August 19, 2011

The 5 Best Motivational Speeches From Movies You Might Not have Seen

I love motivational speeches in movies, but so many of them have just been done to death.  If you go to sporting events anywhere with a jumbotron with any regularity, you know exactly what I'm talking about.  Gene Hackman just doesn't get me fired up anymore.  So I decided to make a list of my 5 favorite relatively obscure, motivational speeches.  They are listed chronologically, as some of the speeches are so radically different that  I couldn't really concoct a good way to rank them.

Charlie Chaplin - The Great Dictator (1940)
This is not really what you might expect out of Charlie Chaplin, but it's still powerful and apt 70 years later.

Kenneth Branagh - Henry V (1989)
It kind of feels like I'm cheating here, since this one was written by Shakespeare, but it's not quite as well known as it ought to be.  Also, for those who were wondering, St. Crispin's Day is October 25th.

Liam Neeson - Michael Collins (1996)
This is easily the most Irish speech you will ever see in your life.  It ends with Liam Neeson headbutting someone, and it doesn't get any more Irish than that.

Christopher Walken - Poolhall Junkies (2002)
I think this is probably my favorite of the bunch.  I doubt that would be true were it delivered by anyone other than Walken.  Listen to how he says "jackals".

Sam Rockwell - The Winning Season (2009)
This one really isn't effective in terms of motivation, but I do really enjoy it.  The mouth full of popcorn is a nice touch.

Bonus Speech!
If you've been to a Stars game any time since 2004, you've probably seen the Kurt Russell speech from Miracle.  It's a good one, but like Hoosiers, I grow tired of it.  That is unless it is delivered by a 4 year old in a suit who taught himself the speech.  Enjoy.

Crazy Wildlife Hunting: Part 1

This is a bigass centipede that hunts bats.  It is damn terrifying.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The 10 Best Movie Subtitles That Aren't Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

How does one decide how good a movie's subtitle is?  This was the question that needed to be answered before compiling a list.  So, I settled on two criteria: wordplay and ridiculousness.  Also, I decided the Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo should be left out, because it is clearly the best and would pretty much turn this whole thing into a top 9 list. So, with that out of the way, let's begin.

10. Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

This one is pretty straightforward.  It's like armed and dangerous, but because she's in a beauty pageant, it's fabulous.

Fun fact: Ron Swanson is in this movie.

9. Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust

Double pun!  Also you know you're off to a bad start when Gary Busey won't come back to do a sequel.

Fun fact:  John Vulich, the guy who took over the role of the Gingerdead Man, is a make-up artist who has worked on shows like Buffy and the X-Files.

8. 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain

Though the title actually kind of makes sense within the context of the film, that would require that you actually watch it.  And let's be honest, does anyone want to watch the fourth installment of the 3 Ninjas series?

Fun fact:  Jim Varney appears in this movie in a rare non-Ernest appearance.

7. Cube 2: Hypercube

I am admittedly biased here, as this is the subtitle I reference most often in my everyday life other than Breakin'.  This is largely because my sister drives a Nissan Cube.

Fun fact: Directed by the cinematographer of Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction.

6. City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold

This is another one that makes sense, but is just so ridiculous that it needs to be recognized.

Fun fact: Jon Lovitz fucking rules.

5. Free Willy 4: Escape From Pirate's Cove

I haven't seen this one, but the title brings up so many questions that demand answers.  First and foremost: Why is Free Willy consorting with pirates?

Fun fact: Apparently, this movie features a plot to inject Willy with anti-freeze in order to drive down his market value.  Seriously.

4. Cocaine Cowboys 2: Hustlin' With the Godmother

This subtitle is pretty solid, but were this an ordinary film, it wouldn't be in the top 4.  However, due to the fact that this is the sequel to an acclaimed documentary, it scored serious bonus points.

Fun fact: Cocaine is significantly cheaper in Southern Texas than the rest of the country due to ease of acquisition.

3. House Party 2: The Pajama Jam!

This is only in the top three because of the exclamation mark.

Fun fact: Kid 'N' Play is actually two people.

2. Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit

I feel like this has the most esoteric wordplay of pretty much any subtitle due to a fairly uncommon use of the word habit.  Well played, Whoopi.

Fun fact:  This movie was directed by Bill Duke, the black guy who threatens to kill Carl Weathers in Predator.

1. The Entire Air Bud Series

The Air Bud series has so many good sports related dog puns it's crazy. Golden Receiver, Seventh Inning Fetch, and World Pup.  I guess they couldn't think of anything dog related for volleyball, though.

Fun fact: Wikipedia doesn't seem to check the entries for the Air Bud series too often.  This can be seen here.
                  EDIT: This has since been corrected.  I'm glad I took the screenshot.

Monday, August 8, 2011

We're Back!

We're back.  After much slovenliness and drinking, Bigger Than A Normal Hat is once again up and running.  We left off anticipating the arrival of Summer Movie Preview, Part 3: 5 Movies That Look Like They'll Fucking Rule.  So here's the deal; I'm not writing that.  I'm over it.  Plus, summer is pretty much over and all of the movies that were going to be on that list have already been released.  So, fuck it, we're moving on.